from by Mal Webb

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This isn't a true story... but it might be! Note that the whistle and voice beeps are 8 against 9 of the groove.


As I was driving up the highway with 500 k’s to go
I saw a sign for roadworks lurking up ahead
As it was quite a quiet day I thought, “OK, a short delay”
But nay, the queue was curiously long instead
And from a side road on the right, more drivers joined to further blight my plight
My fate to wait for life to pass me by
But crawling ’round the corner inch by inch, I glimpsed the distant workers
Then a vision clad in fluoro caught my eye

She held a sign that said ‘slow’, but my heart would not obey
Then when she turned it ’round and looked my way
I felt my whole world stop
Twirl that lollipop
Oh no, don’t ever let me go

To think such practical apparel could appear so appealing
Garish yellow vests would never seem the same
Right from her sun hat to her steel-cap boots she truly worked that workwear
While her smile put those reflector strips to shame
As I drew nearer, she grew clearer
I could hear her laugh
I dreamed I’d be the one she stopped
I’d ask her out for soup
I’d meet her mates on day-glo double dates
We’d say, “I do”, the earth will move
We’d do it in a front-end loader scoop ...

I then moved on from pining onto priming, trying to suss the timing
And with just four cars to go, it sure looked good
That she might spin the sign and stem the traffic’s tide
So timed that I’d be halted by her side ... oh, how I wished she would
The call to stop us came though on her two-way right on cue
But at that very moment, some guy shouted from nearby
“Hey, do youse want some lunch?” She held fast to that slow sign
So I drove past hearing her reply
“Yeah, thanks, I’ll have a pie”

She held a sign that said slow as I slowly drove away
Her image sank into the rear-view depths
But my despair soon turned determined, thinking, “No, it mustn’t end this way”
I checked the map and just like that, I found a route that looped back ’round
A little road off to the right in half a k
Excitedly I switched my indicator on, as I approached the turn-off
But a sight then filled my heart with dread
A row of other cars all turning right, all single guys
I sighed and flicked my blinker off and drove on, straight ahead

She’d held a sign that said ‘slow’, but my heart had not obeyed
Oh, if she’d spun that sign, I could’ve made her mine
But probably not
Delusion’s all I’ve got
I know I oughta let it go ...

©Mal Webb 2012


from Not Nor Mal, released September 2, 2016




Mal Webb Melbourne, Australia

Vocal adventurer, multi-instrumentist, looping beatboxing songwriter Mal Webb sings his songs about all manner of stuff, using all sorts of vocal techniques (like sideways yodeling) and plays guitar, bass, mbira, slide trumpet, trombone, chromatic harmonica, bass and piano. He's like Bobby McFerrin, Aphex Twin and Cole Porter playing scrabble. Ani DiFranco said to Mal: "You're a freak!"
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