Ad For Beer

from by Mal Webb

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This is a true story. Chick Ratten, who ran the Rainbow Hotel in Fitzroy, once said to me "Yeah, I've been playing your demo in my car... I love it, but I can't give you a gig... your music's not a good ad for beer". I'm told he used the phrase quite often. Sadly, Chick died 8/8/2008 at about the time I was finishing the song (I had no idea he was unwell). There's a nice article about Chick from the AGE at:
This song actually began as an instrumental and was recorded as "Shk Shing" on a Bomba CD and I retro fitted the lyrics. Note that the first and second phrases are the same, except shifted by quaver (1/8th note).


Rainbow Hotel gigs for me were none
Chick, the owner, was so sincere
“I love your music, it’s clever and fun, but it’s not a good ad for beer”
“Thanks a lot, Chick”, I declared with glee, “Your phraseology makes it clear
There must be apter venues for me
I don’t wanna be an ad for beer”

Pat a dog, smell a flower, ride a bike
Try eating brussels sprouts and the like
Have a sing, be nerdy, sail a boat
They’re the things I prefer promoting
Now I play schools, halls and festivals
Bring the family, have no fear
See and hear clearly and, best of all
I don’t need to be an ad for beer

Pat a flower, ride a dog, smell a bike ...

I don’t mean to be a pious git
You do what you like, I’ll be here
Playing my music in places where it doesn’t need to be an ad for beer ...

©Mal Webb 2008


from Not Nor Mal, released September 2, 2016




Mal Webb Melbourne, Australia

Vocal adventurer, multi-instrumentist, looping beatboxing songwriter Mal Webb sings his songs about all manner of stuff, using all sorts of vocal techniques (like sideways yodeling) and plays guitar, bass, mbira, slide trumpet, trombone, chromatic harmonica, bass and piano. He's like Bobby McFerrin, Aphex Twin and Cole Porter playing scrabble. Ani DiFranco said to Mal: "You're a freak!"
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