1. |
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I bet when we first met you thought it was unconplicated, yet
Quite soon we were best by lurking guilt and lingering regret
But it's not a hopeless case, although your ex has put a hex in place
Let's hope we've seen the last of that blast from the past
'Cos I'll be your emotional baggage handler
Let me mix up all your tags and send your broken heart to Broken Hill
I'll be your emotional baggage handler
Label everything as fragile, you won't end up on the carousel
Ohhhh oh, better not miss it
Lift off that thin veneer and watch the mental wormholes appear
The past will hover near and charge you with an excess of fear
But it's not a hopeless case...
© Mal Webb 1998
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2. |
Spruik
03:22
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Come in for these wonderful bargains. Come in the store and check out the saving. Open saturdays. If I had a plane, I would fly to the haze on the mountains at the edge of the suburbs. Through the haze on the other side. There's no need, no need to buy. And if you're looking for another size, we'll find! And if you're looking for two dollar gloves, we'll find! There's a lady who's sure that if she stands by the door for three months or more, she'll move all the stock on the floor.
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3. |
Sock Medley
04:45
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Soft and warm and woolly, feet and ankles fully. Wham! Bam! Biff! Pow! Zowey! Sock! You can stick 'em on your feet and they look really neat, through the snow and the sleet, they'll keep in the heat. S.O.C.K. darn it, sock! OK let's talk about the odd sock, you look for a pair in despair, you can't find one anywhere, and the old pox smelly ones never go missing, you'll be wishing that you'd never bought a new pair in your life, that present from your wife or your mother, you could lose any other, but no, you lose that one, and the one with the hole in the toe? It'll never go! Any colour you please, half way up to your knees, they'll really make you wheeze, like an old smelly cheese.
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4. |
You Don't Know
01:41
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You don't know what you don't know you don't know
If you think you know what you don't know you don't know
Then you might as well stop thinking now
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5. |
Doona Hog
03:12
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Although she has enchanting lips, one thing about relationships
Is that there's bound to be some give and take
And while she is beyond compare, the witching hour you should beware
For there may be a sacrifice to make
Even when she's grumpy she's a vision divine
Her kids'll probably end up turning water to wine
But when we go to bed I get a chill up my spine
'Cos she's a Doona Hog
Her views on life make Dostoyevsky seem a bit light
She smiles and Max Dupain can't get the aperture right
But waking up I found I've been exposed to the night
'Cos she's a Doona Hog
Well, she has a subliminal lust for linen
And a grip so tight you'll never get it back
Oh why is it that ordinary men a women
Get greedy every time they hit the sack
She's more intoxicating that a bucket of gin
And it would take Rodin to cast the line of her chin
But give her 20 winks and she'll be reeling it in
'Cos she's a Doona Hog
She has a shape that only MC Escher could draw
Her IQ is a number only Bradman could score
But late at night she only likes to play tug of war
'Cos she's a Doona Hog
©Mal Webb 1994
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6. |
Think Too Much
03:24
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Yeah, nah, you know, I don't know, maybe. Stacked up at the airport of truth, trying to make a landing. Going round in circles of proof, under no understanding sings seems to say that we can't got on this way. All this self derision leaves me leaping to the wrong decision. I think I think too much. Synapses at battle again, a mental Punch and Judy. Same old puppets, same old refrain, but sporting spunky new designs...
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7. |
Falling Out
02:52
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It's falling out
And I don't really care
If I lose my hair
And cause a bit more glare
It's falling out
Hairfusion's not the way
And wigs are so passé
A shiny scalp's OK
Some call it hairloss, but the only loss I feel
Is the loss of lots of stupid friends who think it's some big deal
It's falling out
And I don't mind it shown
That my testosterone
Glands are overgrown
It's falling out
And every fashion head
Spends their life in dread
But when it's dead it's dead
Some call it hairloss, but that's not quite the case
When half of all the men you know are gaining forehead space
Some call it hairloss, but I don't feel the lack
'Cos now that it's not on my head, it's growing on my back
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8. |
No Better
02:31
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I'm no better than anyone, nobody's better than me. I want to be like you, but you just want to be like me and there's probably someone else the both of us would like to be. The things we do naturally, we take for granted and our insecurity, the seed is planted easily. When it comes to being you, it's the most you'll ever do. When it comes to being me, I'm the best there'll ever be.
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9. |
Everybody Knows
02:36
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Everybody knows we were meant to be
I was meant for you, you were meant for me
Cupid shot through and his aim was true
And everybody knows but you
Everybody knows that the world is ours
As soon as we get round to some sacred vows
You'll say I do and we'll start anew
And everybody knows but you
Everybody knows we're a perfect pair and botanists have proved it so
Everybody knows we'll live without a care
It's just a pity they didn't let you know
Everybody knows it's a fait accompli
And anyone with doubts better talk to me
'Cos our love is through like the Pope's a Jew
And everybody knows but you
© Mal Webb 1994
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10. |
Roofrack
02:01
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My car doesn't have a stereo system
My car doesn't have a cellular phone
My car's clock is stuck at 8:50
My car's parked in a tow-away zone
But my car's got a nice roofrack
Bright and shiny and new
It really has a very nice roofrack
To carry my love to you
My car doesn't like going 'round corners
My car doesn't like going uphill
My car's engine purrs like a llama
My car's fumes make the passengers ill
My car doesn't have one straight panel
My car doesn't take available parts
My car's littered with parking tickets
My car's lucky if it even starts
© Mal Webb 1991
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11. |
Disconnected
03:29
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There's something burning deep inside this place. I felt a glimpse and then I saw no trace. You have to help me, I can't do this alone. Just leave a message and I'll find my way home.
And I've got to have you, have you. This is the time and place and I've got o know you, know you. Better keep up the pace. This is not the way it should be. Can you connect me now? Disconnected.
I found the answer but I lost the key. I felt the stampede there were only three. The room is bending I can't see the floor. I half expected you behind that locked door.
Time will never stand so still. You can always do your best. Patience is its own reward.
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12. |
When No one Calls
03:19
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You roam from room to room in gloom when no one calls
The house abounds with shifting things like pots and bins that sound enough like
Knocks and ring to make you drop your cheese on toast
You leave your messages in vain when no one calls
They languish on machines all over town
The red light blinking like a beacon in the fog of missed acquaintances
And all the roads are dead ends
There's no right turn with one way friends
The mormons gain a slight appeal when no one calls
And telemarketeers are your best friends
Their mythical five minutes tend to bend extending to and hour or more
Technology just makes it worse when no one calls
The modern most depressing thing's a mobile phone that never rings
And grips your hips and limbs like a mistletoe
Socials forays flaw you more when no one calls
'Cos meeting in the street they greet you with
"How sweet, I almost thought of maybe calling you last week, but then I didn't"
To go out is to bout with doubt when no one calls
'Cos returning to your shack to press the playback
The engaged signals pierce this waking nightmare like a scimitar
© Mal Webb 1998
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Mal Webb Melbourne, Australia
Vocal adventurer, multi-instrumentist, looping beatboxing songwriter Mal Webb sings his songs about all manner of stuff,
using all sorts of vocal techniques (like sideways yodeling) and plays guitar, bass, mbira, slide trumpet, trombone, chromatic harmonica, bass and piano. He's like Bobby McFerrin, Aphex Twin and Cole Porter playing scrabble. Ani DiFranco said to Mal: "You're a freak!"
Noice.
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